I dream of a White Fox

In my dream I was in the garden.  I was cleaning up the late debris for the season. As I tore each dead plant out by its root I tossed it into a pile.  After a bit I looked back at my work and noticed that each row I completed turned into a trench and these trenches were filling with water.

paul bunyunI was working with others and we took breaks regularly.  I took my break time with the rest and sat down near two men.  One man, who I do not recall in detail was likeable and safe but hidden in the sidelines, so to speak. The other, however was larger than life.   A big man with broad shoulders and wearing a red lumber jack shirt.  His face was large and muscular with a very square jaw, reminding me of the character, Paul Bunyan.  This large man was the carpenter and very precise on how he wanted things done.  He was also quiet and gruff but I knew he was kind.  In my dream I sat with him during these breaks and we had become close… yet an arm’s length away. Always.

I continued with my work while others did their part.  Row after row I toiled.  When I looked up into the growing pile of dried vegetation, in it I spotted a fluffy, white baby fox.   Its small button nose twitching as it skulked around in search of, I assumed, food.

whiye foxI stopped what I was doing to watch it; I was thrilled it was there.  When it got to close to the water, however, I worried for it and clapped loudly startling it. It did not run very far.  I realized there was something amiss.  So I called to it, softly.  It came to me without fear allowing me to pet its soft fur.  That’s when I noticed.  Its large pale blue, almost white, eyes were sightless.   The creature was blind.

I was worried for it and did not want it to fall into the water.  I explained this to it and it said something in return that comforted me. (I don’t remember what this was when I woke).

This dream stuck with me and I told my husband about it.  He is brilliant when it comes to deciphering dreams and what he perceives about my dream is this.

The large carpenter was the image I hold as my father (who in real life is not square-jawed or a large man, in fact he is average with a snow-white beard LOL, however, my father’s spirit is large, that I know).   I was preparing the garden for winter; to me this would represent an end to a cycle.  The trenches filling with water represents family, also denoting anxiety, which ties nicely into the blind baby fox, who my husband believes represents my mother. Who is, as I write, dying of cancer.

It was almost too poignant a moment when he explained it to me; I was unsure I even believed it.  As I stood staring at him with tears in my eyes… I realized that simple insight now raised the question. How do I keep a blind baby fox from falling into the trenches and drowning? 

The answer?  I can’t.  I can only watch, take care and hope.   hope 2

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