I want what I want

He always apologized for making me sad.

Not being there for me
Not waking up to me
Not holding me
Not comforting me
Not holding the door open for me
Not taking me out on dates
Not watching movies with me
Not going for walks with me
Not trusting me
And for keeping his rage and darkness from me.

And I assured him every time that I understood.

Thing is.

I want someone to be there for me. (and you do too)
To wake up to messy hair and morning breath.  (This is not hard everyone does it.  Just wake up to me…)
To hold me when I’m happy, sad, lonely, free, sleepy, crazy. JUST hold me for gosh darn sakes, I need it.  (If you are there and I’m there put your arms around me..)
To comfort me when the days are hard and the nights are long.  (We will have days like this together..)
To share with me the laughter, the joy and the challenges.  (Between us, it will be mostly challenges, I’m game)
Oh please hold the door open for me. I’m a strong woman but I do so love chivalry.   (If we are leaving together this is not rocket science)
And take me out. Let me take you out too. Let’s just go out once in a while.  (We have done it and no lightning struck)
If it’s cold out, Sundays are movie days. Period.  (We both need this more than work, that’s for sure)
I need to walk, I’m not getting any younger. I prefer it alone sometimes but I would love the company too.  (Walking is healthy for anybody no matter what their dealeo)
Please trust me. I am human and I may tell a few white lies but I don’t do it maliciously. I am completely loyal and I got your back. That… I promise.

As for the rage and darkness? His was one he could not help, circumstances beyond his control. It happens and you all know who you are. But, the rest of us? Respect your dark side, it is a part of you. Realize where the thoughts come from and do your best to live in the moment. Do not allow it to harm yourself or others and if it is getting to that point seek help. There is an abundance of help.

I will walk in love
Talk in love
Share in love

But I will not compromise to be in love

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