A Modern Old Fashioned Woman

I have been single for a while now and I have had my fair share of seriously OMG moments when it comes to men and potentially dating. In an impetuous series of offensive messages and lewd comments made to me in the past year via text or social media, one comment kinda kicked my writers mind into gear.

Most recently, after doing my best NOT to engage in a remark, hopefully meant to be a compliment…ish, on my ASS while standing in line, I was then asked if I was one of those modern old fashioned women that wanted their cake and eat it too?

Well OF COURSE I want cake and eat it too… Such a stupid phrase.

I wanted to ask the gentleman what he meant by that statement but the crowd in the cafeteria had just became nightmarish as another class had just got out… too many people not enough air to breathe; had to leave.

The phrase stayed with me… more so than the feeling of slight violation at the fact that someone had been staring at my ass and had the balls to say something about it.. GA!

Modern Old Fashioned Woman?

4977f933ccbf80943fd4de3cae9d78cdInstead of googling the two I decided to write down things I thought were me as a modern and old fashioned woman, just to see if that label was actually something I could embrace? As we are a society of labels lately, why the ‘f’ not have one of my very own.

Modern Woman I am
• I am a single mom
• I own my own home and my own vehicle
• I have savings and chequing accounts with a retirement fund as a cushion when I’m old and broken. (albeit it is a lousy one, can’t retire until I’m 175) :p
• My job is secure, pays well and I’m good at it.
• I am not afraid to ask a man out on a date (however, that dating scene is scary as hell, so I just don’t).
• I can open my own bottle of champagne {thank you} pour my own wine and mix my own drink
• If you can believe, I gagged all the way through the removal and cleaning the bathroom sink pipes all by myself and am more than eager to know just how the bones of my home works (I ask the plumber, electrician and anyone who comes my way too many questions, a friendly pain in the butt I am)
• I can talk dirty, spit and drink beer faster than you can say ‘chug’ and I WILL piss in the woods if I must! Not a fav of woman anywhere but it can be done (not sure if that’s modern but I get the equality and modern shit mixed up)
• I have two, sometimes three, sometimes more, teenage children in my home at all times. All of them well brought up, smart, independent and kind and ALWAYS hungry. I believe I had a large role in ALL of that and I’ll feed them too
• There is no reason to be afraid to get dirty to change a flat tire, I just don’t like doing it, in fact, I don’t like filling my car with gas or taking it for oil changes or to the car wash either, but I do it
• I can pay my way through a meal and I will eat what I want. In fact, I can devour a hamburger in seconds if I’m hungry enough, just watch me
• Shovel my own walk, oh yes I do, it is much needed winter exercise, I’ll do my neighbours too, on both sides. You know what? I use a push mower to mow the lawn only because I cannot be bothered with the purchasing of gas or the tangle of chords. (watch me set off on a raging hissy fit when the water hose gets all twisted, sight to see… AUGH!)
• I can pay my bills, buy my own outfits, fragrances and jewelry and I can even go out alone… to a movie, out for dinner. Eeegads, the balls! AND I do practise my freedom of the almighty VOTE (even though I find politics akin to 5 year old bullies on a playground)
• I have travelled alone, many times, and I quite enjoy it
• If you want to assist me financially, I would love that, BUT it has to be on the basis of fairness; If you are living in my home please yes, do assist, if not, then of course not, silly!
• Instead of ME cooking for HIM which is a hit or miss at any given time, make ME a homemade dinner with a bottle of wine I can sip for the next week or so and some brand new candles… that drip.  Ya the modern me would love that

Old Fashioned Woman I am
• I so dearly miss being held, cherished and valued like fine china. It’s one of the simple treasures I crave. Hard to find, harder to hold on to. Life is so short, so very short to go through life not feeling as if you are precious to someone even at your worst moments… especially at those worsts
• When my man would drape his arm over my shoulder while ordering coffee, or slip a hand around my waist while we stopped and chatted to a friend on the street or just standing side by side looking out the window at the rain falling in the garden. I like to feel like I’m all his, and I like him to show the world just that (look at your phone and ignore me, then you can imagine a life without sex for eternity!!)
• To brush the nasty strands of hair that get into my eyes and lipstick while I’m driving or cooking is a gesture that makes my skin sizzle
• I don’t like talking about getting into the sack before I even meet you in person. I don’t like talking about it on the first, second or third dates for that matter. It’s vile. If I’m in a long term sexual relationship with you then oh ya, let’s get the dirty sexting on… It’s fun. But if not, no way, that’s just ICK
• Je l’adore tout simplement the feeling I get when a man opens my door then guides me into a room with a light touch of his hand on my back (I have mentioned this before, so if you are interested, pay close attention!)
• I will use my napkin instead of the back of my hand when the extra cheese from that poor devoured hamburger dribbles onto my chin, I promise
• Love having someone pay the dinner bill. It makes me feel cared for. Don’t need it but I love that feeling where I can sit back, relax, enjoy the conversation, maybe some hand holding or gentle flirting can ensue instead of me worrying about my meager social financial budget and what I may have to do without for the next week or so 😦
• Watching my man do the yard work is just yummy yummy yummy, bring out the popcorn and the long island iced teas. If it’s hot and he is shirtless and sweating, oooh lala he should be prepared for a little more exercise in the shower later. Mmm hmmm. In saying that, watching a man do dishes does it for me too. OH! and holding a baby. Eeee the tingles. (It is a must though, that the man takes care of himself. I despise the excess ‘beer drinking beer gut, heavy smoking party all the time still stuck in the 80’s’ kind of guy. If your sweat smells like you just spend the weekend in a brewery and replaced your body’s lost salt with big macs and french fries you get nothing… NOTHING from me
• That old fashioned move of me slipping in close to tighten his already perfect tie will never get old, so, where a tie for me so I can slip in close
• I shall bring him coffee in bed on a rainy Sunday morning. I can even make breakfast, yes I would love to
• Of course I’ll do his laundry, I enjoy doing laundry
• Walk with me, come with me and my dog, we love walks
• I don’t need fancy getaways, just take us to the mountains where we can both run free, we need it like we need breath. Watch me hold my arms out wide and shout at the mountains just to hear my own echo and smile when I giggle and blush at myself for being so bold
• Take me to the market, stand with me while I ooo and ahhh at my favourite handmade items, even if they bore you to tears.  Buy me a small bottle of my favourite jam and some fresh baked bread,  I will skip all the way home from the sweet gesture and will accept the crumbs in the bed later if you do 😉
• Hold the umbrella for me, carry the groceries, help me with my coat, my scarf. Be a gentleman. It is old fashioned but oh how I crave it
• Please respect my passionate emotional sides, they are many, I need them to live, they settle and ground me and they release the demons inside
• stay with me because you believe in loving all of me not just what is socially acceptable of me

gentleman 3Pondering …

It seems as if the modern woman has allowed the old fashioned, charming, respected art of wooing era zip on by. By making ourselves equal in every way we forgot about the little deets and sweets of dating we actually enjoyed before the rise of the ‘feminist’ power.

My modern woman has it all already, clearly, but my old fashioned me is sadly neglecting. I have yet to find a man (in a relatively close radius, I might add) who wants to hold my hand in public, who remembers to open doors, to ask me, formally, on a date, pick me up, bring me flowers. You know, the wooing.

I really would prefer a man to get to know the passionate, crazy mold and nature of my mind before the size of my breasts or shape of my ass. (Yes, thank you!!! its heart shaped!!! I KNOOOOW try finding a pair of perfect fitting jeans? Infugginpossible) Stop looking at it and wishing it into a pair of yoga tights, just look me in the eye.  Refrain from the violating sexual innuendos right off the bat. STOP letting me know just how much your lower ‘brain’ desires me. If you continue to speak to me as an object rather than a human, or heaven forbid, slap my ass on the first date, you will have hit friend zone or worse, ignored, in a nanosecond or less. Forever! Even if you are a really nice guy.

Uncannily, in this day and age, there are woman who still live in a worm hole of dependent male controlled hell which for some reason seemed to go hand in hand with the ever lingering dark ages.  I don’t want that at all!!!  That’s not modern or old fashioned that’s just respect.

I understand the confusion we women have put forth and ya talking to us is intimidating, but you can do it. Offer to buy a girl a coffee or her lunch rather than comment about the shape of her ass please. Please. Please do that. You may just get YOUR cake and eat it too.  {wink, nudge}

tumblr_nhd5nsgfjv1qkww7to1_500Call me modern day old fashioned if you like.
Or, you can just call me Nancy.
Thank you

4 thoughts on “A Modern Old Fashioned Woman”

  1. Like this a lot Nancy. You demonstrate that you know pretty well who you are. Somewhere there is a gentileman who will cross your path one day. If you want it believe it. Ron

  2. There’s an old sayings: No man ever got shot for doing the dishes.

    Its weird that its considered modern to want to be respected as a person and not an, um, ass, and that its thought old-fashioned to want to be in love,. But then there you go.

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