a merry toast to the holiday single ladies … hiccup

Dear Santa…

The first day of Christmas
I would like a true love to send to me
An oil change for my poor car

true love

The second day of Christmas
I would like a true love to send to me
Two new tires, and
An oil change for my poor car

The third day of Christmas
I would like a true love to send me to….
a hot spot destination
Two new tires, and
An oil change for my poor car

The fourth day of Christmas…
Where is my true love?
I need a four course meal
a hot spot destination
Two new tires, and
An oil change for my poor car

The fifth day of Christmas
Still no true love???
Five hours of shovelling
No four course meal or
a hot spot destination
no new tires, or
An oil change for my poor car

The sixth day of Christmas
I’m well into my cups,
No true love
Five more hours of #@$% shovelling
Nothing to eat
Still cold outside
Tires are shot and
The oil light is still on

The sthventh day of Christmas…
Wait.. eighth? {hiccup}
Maids would be nice…
Screw the swans, the lake is frozen
I’m well into my cups,
drunk lady

No true love
Five more hours of #@$% shovelling
Nothing to eat
Still cold outside
Tires are shot and
The oil light is still on

The ninth day of Christmas
Is there someone out there?
There’s drumming in my head
Maids did a crummy job
Swans are stuck
I’m well into my … hi ccups…
No true love
Five more hours of #@$% shovelling
Nothing to eat
Still cold outside
Tires are shot and
The oil light is still on

The tenthhthth daaaaay of chrithsmas
Who the f!! sent me…
@#$%^ pipers screeching
Drown those drummers
Maids did a crummy job
Swans are stuck
I’m well into my c{hiccup}ups,
No true love
Five more hours of #@$% shovelling
Nothing to eat
Still cold outside
Tires are shot and
The oil light is still on
{hiccuuuuup} {snort}

The eleventh day of Christmas…
What kind of joke is this
Who am I supposed to dance with??
@#$%%^ the pipers
$$#**^&%#^ the drummers
Maids did a crummy job
Swans are stuck
I’m well into my c{hiccup}ups,
No true love
Five more hours of #@$% shovelling
Nothing to eat
Still cold outside
Tires are shot and
The oil light is still on

The twelfthftfh {spit} day of Hanukamas
Someone had the nerve
to send me 12 men in tights? WTF
the room is really spinning
broken pipes found so i
killed all the drummin
where are the f’n maids???
Stupid swans
I’m still dxrunk
And no true love to
help get the shiny white crap off my walk
Damn, I’m hungry
and Frozen {hiccup}
Can’t drive anywhere
Forgot about going to a hot spot… men in tights can be hot…
Don’t care.

Merry haninewmasyear to all my thingle ladeeeees..  Lets find us sthome more wine…  whooop… lets warm up that wine..  Im sthtill cooooold.

BA HUMBUG…

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