Grieved

I am unsure how to begin this thought pattern so I will begin the moment I woke up.  First thing I did was called my daughters cell.  (She is in the basement, I know I know lazy) I could not hear the shower and I had slept in as I did not have to go to work today.  The very next think I did was opened my facebook account.

Everyday I do this like clock work and everyday I start with panic and depression or tears and frustrations.  Very little laughs and a whole lot of face palming at the random, racist, ridiculous comments people make..   From drones and dirty politicians to whistleblowers and amendments rights being abused left and right.  From GMO to idle No More to Holes in the sun.. I simply cannot believe I chose this time and place to come back to this planet.

What a bloody MESS!

The worst is I have no idea what to do about it.  I want to move off grid utilizing what the planet provides me… BUT I, along with 90% of the Canadian population are chained to mortgages and loans all in the name of freedom.  I have a job that allows me to spend 90% of that hard earned cash to pay back these balls and chains leaving me with.. very little to save for what I want my future to be.

I can sign petitions until I’m blue in the face.  I can picket until blisters form on my feet.  I can bitch, complain, share, tweet and link until my fingers turn numb… And then I wake up the next morning and BAM More killings more crimes more war and more lies..  Heavens its no wonder we all haven’t tried to commit mass suicide.  This planet is a school ground of bullies disguised as leaders.  And leaders disguised as terrorists..  ACK!

In all seriousness folks are things really getting better?  I understand that in order to make a clean sweep, start afresh things must get all topsy turvy but spying?  Drones? Do we really need to tempt fate with yet ANOTHER pipeline with their obvious faults of bursting ALL the time?  Ruining miles and miles of natural land??  Do police really need to provide brute force on peaceful protests?

I dont understand being here.   I dont know how NOT to see the waste of time we have become and I dont know what Im suppose to do about any of it.

…  dont even know how to end this post.

 

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