I don’t know about all of you but there are certain times of day, certain smells, certain noises that can placate me like an infant or set me off like an angry bear. One or the other can change my mood in a nanosecond. For example, the smell of mint, rain and sun on the pavement – all yummy. Mornings vs evenings, so very very emotionally different. Music from a cheap devices, clunky machines, constant fans, people talking at the same time – those bug me. Sometimes though, whether it be the angry bear or the placated infant, I get some solid advice in those moments. Today was one of those days.
Mornings. They are my solace. I wake up around 5am every single day, no matter where I am on the blue marble. It just seems like that time, in any place, is mine. I’m tired, yes, and I groan now, a bit, when my body rises. This year working at the diner has given me a whole new meaning to aches and pains, but I get up, my spirit wants to move.
First, I feed the dog, I get a glass of water, sometimes I start coffee or if it’s chilly, I crawl back into bed for a quick snuggle with my warm, sleeping, snoring Scotchman. But Nala always wins this time period and comes searching me out for our habitual morning walk.
Lately, our walks have been short. Since the joints from big toe to the back of my head hurt so darn much, we don’t travel far. I’d love to take one of those long hikes again, like I did when I travelled to Quebec for a month with my Nals. However, she leads me where she wants to go and likes the same old routines to see if her “spots” have been answered via doggy urine massaging.
I’ve walked these roads so many times already I can tell you each path, each stop, each scent by heart. Like candy cane lane, a dirt roadway behind the field, that smells so good! I get a little excited when Nals turns in that direction. If only I could bottle that minty smell.
Today, I catch a glimpse of bright yellow and brilliant blue little feathery bodies as they flit about the branches of the trees and thick bushes. We stop to watch a bit. The leaves rustle in the breeze above me, catching my attention, and I imagine its my angel tribe waving to me, saying hello. Seems to be more of them lately than the small earth clan I’ve adopted as of late. The rustle of critters escaping Nalas big nosy nose grabs my attention in a different direction and we walk again. Once in awhile I can hear an alarm, a child cry, a dog bark. The herons cry is not as attractive as the bird itself but I love that they are so close by. All comfortable reminders that, though I’m alone, sometimes so very alone, there is a fellowship all around me.
My breakfast awaits. Bright coloured fruits and flowering herbs grow along roadsides and pathways, I jump carefully to snag dark purple cherries, scramble through the bramble to get to the juiciest saskatoons and black berries I can find. Pears, plums, apples and peaches, it’s all here, my own rich morning palette. Safe to say I won’t starve.
Usually, during these times, I chat with mom and dad, I don’t like that I don’t hear their voices back as disappointed or as proud they may be. I won’t know. I ask for some spiritual guidance, God knows I need it. Sometimes I close my eyes and let Nala guide me, using my senses to meditate with each step, listening, in case I catch a thought, a message from beyond that I may need. This is my faith, my peace.
Today it came to me. I missed it at first, so in awe of the humid rainforest feel after the early morning downpour. It wasn’t until we got to the lake for Nalas morning drink that I closed my eyes a minute to concentrate on the warmth of sunrise on my skin. May it be spirit, mom and dad maybe, the heron or the circling osprey, again, I don’t know how words present themselves as they do for me, yet it was spoken and they made sense.
“Try not to control the outcomes so much Nancy. Let things happen. By dominating the future you are disturbing your present. Enjoy the all day moments as you enjoy your peaceful mornings. Take the good and the bad as lessons, not as attacks. Mull them over as you would when studying the spirit animal that graced you today. Listen to them as you do the breeze in the trees, the waves in the water, the scuttle of little paws in the bushes. Then, when you have finished, your heart settled, leave them to us.”
Solid advice don’t you think?
I want to keep following this advice so I went to the place that I often go to remember; my silly little blog, with a readership of… what now… 5? I love all five of you by the way… thank you.